RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS!

Let’s face it; we’ve been sitting on a Powder keg! Not only from the effects of the pandemic but now with the rioting and looting in the world. It’s catastrophic! Never before has so much at the same time happen to us.  It was only a matter of time before that Powder keg exploded.

All the anger, trauma, anxiety, and depression not only take its toll on us individually, but it affects our close relationships too! Many marriages and partnerships are in crisis. Discussions with divorce attorneys are at an all-time high. When these intense emotions have nowhere to go, unfortunately, they are often taken out on those closest to us.

So, what can we do? How can we maintain those relationships despite the disasters going on around and within us?

When I work with couples, I always see them individually first. Because when we are independently doing our work, inner healing, and supporting ourselves, we are in a much better state to negotiate and communicate with others.

Consider these tips to support your relationship:

1. Have activities you do separately. You’re probably spending plenty of time together. In previous times, you might have struggled to find time to spend together. But too much might not be that helpful. So, spend some time apart each day.
2. Avoid doing those things that you know irritate your partner. You know what your partner doesn’t like, and you might even do those things on purpose now and then just for spite. But, now isn’t the time for this kind of behavior. Find an ongoing way to work through your feelings, and this will help both parties.
3. Put a stop to any criticism. The same goes for criticism. Understandably, you might be frustrated with each other, but why take it to another level when it isn’t necessary?
4. Prepare and practice patience; take a time-out, engage in breathing exercises before important interactions.
5. Stay busy. Bored and annoyed is worse than comfortably busy and annoyed. Find something to do and put your attention on that task. It’s a more productive and enjoyable way to coexist. Sometimes idle minds tend to become agitated.
6. Argue outside of the home. If you’re going to fight, do it somewhere else. The kids will appreciate not having to be part of it. It also avoids emotionally contaminating the home. It’s less comfortable in the house after an argument has occurred. Argue somewhere else and preserve the sanctity of your home.
7. Keep the house tidy. A cluttered home is more stressful for everyone. Encourage everyone to pick up after themselves, and there will be less tension in your home. Everyone in the house should have a couple of chores to do each day. A tidy home is a more peaceful home.
8. Communicate. Communication is always essential. It’s more important now than ever. Try to have at least one meaningful conversation each day.
9. Establish some routines. Keep a routine. Times are different than before, but a routine is still important. Get everyone out of bed by a specific time. Have a dinner routine and a bedtime routine. Keep everyone on some semblance of a schedule.
10. Be kind. Everyone knows how to be kind. Be especially kind during these challenging times.

Relationships are challenging even under exceptional circumstances, and we’re not living in great times right now. A little prevention can go a long way toward preserving your relationship.

Be sure to give each other the alone time that you both need. Place a premium on communication. Be kind. These are useful tips for any relationship, under any circumstance, and even more so during troubling times.

#youcandoit

Contact me now, and receive your free strategy session. Empower yourself, gain control, and achieve your goals. Call or text 206-459-2898

Patricia Eslava Vessey, CHt, PCC.